The Horrors of Fanfiction
by RidingOrangeTides
Summary: Shizune gets a new computer for her 10th birthday. She finds a certain site for fanfiction and introduces it to Tsunade. What do they find? Many, many, things. Slight JirTsu


The sun sets as the moon rises, the shadows fade as the sunlit ground expands. Basic physics. Shizune was sitting on her desk, toying with her new computer. Exploring the wonders of the Internet, if you will. Tsunade-sama said that now that she was 10, she was old enough to take it in. But what she didn't know was that there were some parts of the Internet where little Genins shouldn't go.

Click click click, ohhh interesting picture, WATCH, yeah, watch, click click click. Addictive it is, yes, but dangerous.

Shizune searched up a few fanfics on for her enjoyment. She thought it would be safe—but only if she knew her Fanfic lingo. She blinked blankly at the unknown words, but the most to her unknown was the word Yaoi. She set aside her new computer and went to Tsunade, who was having her lunch.

"Tsunade-sama?" She innocently asked.

"Hm?"

"What's Yaoi?"

Tsunade started to choke on her food then gulped it down when Shizune tilted her head in confusion.

"Oh, uh, you want to know what Yaoi is, huh? Uh, well…" She hesitated. Shizune stared as she waited for an answer. Tsunade looked at her watch and said, "OH! Look at the time! Gotta go!"

Shizune stared blankly until she called Tsunade-sama to stop. "Tsunade-sama…"

Tsunade nervously turned her head around. "Yes?"

"You don't _have_ a watch." After she pointed that out Tsunade gave up and told her the meaning. "Okay, Yaoi is…"

The rest, the narrator dares not define. Shizune turned pale as Tsunade smacked her own face with her hand in embarrassment.

"Aw god, Tsunade-sama that's SICK."

"It's not my fault it's the authors." Tsunade said. "So you won't be using the Internet anymore, heh?"

"As if I'd miss out on these fics!" She said as she skedaddled back to her computer. Tsunade turned paler than she already was and practically threw up.

* * *

Shizune snickered as she scrolled down.

"Are you still reading that sick Yaoi?" Tsunade asked as she walked by to get something.

Shizune snickered again. "Nope. It's another one." Tsunade peered over Shizune's shoulders looking at the screen. "… Why… is… MY NAME IN THAT SCREEN?!"

"It's a JirTsu fiction." Shizune giggled. "So, Tsunade-sama? Who's Jiraiya? Is he your boyfrieeeeeeeeend?"

Tsunade stared blankly for a while til she said. "Move over it's my turn to use it."

Tsunade pushed Shizune off lightly as Shizune stood from behind laughing her gut out. "Have fun with your dream man, Tsunade-sama!"

Tsunade ignored, curious and anxious to read whatever had her name on it. The title was "Needy," Author, "Rei-Yuugasa." She scrolled down after reading each word and was red the whole time. "Oy…" she commented. She was silent until she read the last chapter. She flipped out. Immensely. Shizune snuck up behind her. "So how was it?" Tsunade slyly covered the screen as she bookmarked the page. "Oh, uh, hey, do you know where to find more of these?"

* * *

Shizune gave her a list of them after thirty minutes of searching.

By the Author Rei-Yuugasa, "Needy" and "The Other side of the Window", from the Author JiraiyaTsunade4ever (figures, huh?), "It started with Dinner", "Thanks to the Flames", "Minato's advice.", from the author JirTsu (also figures), "Amnesia", "A Fool's Bet", "New Goal,", from the author dragongoth, "A little bowl of Trouble" and lastly, "It's a girl"

Tsunade spent 2/3 of her day reading each—she was sort of a slow reader. When on her last story, Shizune came in. "Come on, Tsunade-sama it's my turn! You've had the whole week!"

"Fine, fine." Tsunade got off the seat as Shizune leaped to it.

Shizune noticed her name on the character bar and clicked to see if anyone wrote any fanfics about her. Very excited. Her excited-ness was broken when she read a story from Kiros Razor.

"UHM… TSUNADE-SAMA…?" She said worried. Tsunade came in. "Yeah?"

Shizune pointed to the screen biting her nails. Tsunade peered over he shoulder as they both read.

"Oh wow... Haha! …Aw…. Oh… OOOOH… EW… NO… UGH… YUCK… MY EYES."

Shizune and Tsunade turned around to gag.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Tsunade asked in fury.

"Uhh… the description says TsuShi yuri."

Tsunade stared at Shizune and shook her head. "NEVER GO ON THIS SITE AGAIN."

"Gladly!!" Shizune said as she went to the bathroom to wash the poison out of her eyes.

* * *

(Somewhere in the world)

Minato laughed hysterically while he was on the computer. "Hey, hey Jiraiya-sensei! Look at this!" Jiraiya walked in with a sandwich crammed in his mouth. "Nnhnn? Uht ish it?"

Minato pointed to the screen as Jiraiya read the bold letters. He was silent for a while until he finally said. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

"I believe it's a JirTsu _lemon_. I have no idea what a lemon in this site means but…"

"Minato."

"Yes sensei?"

"Get out."

Minato walked out of the room muttering, "what's with him…"

Jiraiya sat down and scrolled down for each word. Soon as he finished, he picked the phone up and Dialed Tsunade's number.

"Hello?"

"Uh, hey Tsunade."

"… JIRAIYA? Why in the world are you calling me?"

"Are you reading what I'm reading…?"

Tsunade stayed silent as she hung up after a minute of silence. Jiraiya stared at the phone blankly.

Tsunade sat with her hands on her face and shaking her head. "Damn you fanfiction."

* * *

**-Hahaha I hope you had some humor there. It was really fun writing this, and sorry/you're welcome FF authors (particularly Kiros Razor, believe me I have nothing against your fanfiction, one, cause I clearly said I liked it, and also I just wanted to keep the story straight-orientated. For the JirTsu fans. xD) I just had to use your names and fics. :D- **


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